Twisting News to Lies
Posted in US News on Sep 29th, 2007
ANNAPOLIS- Jenna Bush, daughter of George Bush, showed the public once and for all that she could read. During a national book tour, Jenna made her way up to the podium and started reading the story of Cinderella. This is in response to a rumor that Jenna didn’t know how to read. “She read magnificently,†[...]
Posted in US News on Sep 28th, 2007
UNITED STATES- Several alleged sightings of ninjas have occurred and many incidents have been blamed by these ninjas. One of these incidents involved three ninjas infiltrating a bank and stealing all the money. When police forces tried to stop them, the ninjas attacked leaving everyone either unconscious or dead. The ninjas left the scene allegedly [...]
Posted in US News on Sep 27th, 2007
WASHINTON- After a full day of observing children at a local school, George Bush concludes that “Children do learn.†George Bush was given an opportunity to observe a school to see the No Child Left Behind act in action. He later gave a speech to the public detailing the success of the No Child Left [...]
Posted in US News on Sep 26th, 2007
MICHIGAN- “Keeping our students safe is our number one priority,†Jeff Kitna, director of education, justified the harsh new rules for sick students. As the impending cold, harsh winter weather approaches, teachers and schools are setting up new rules that are harsher than ever to keep their students safe. School districts have adopted a new [...]
Posted in Odd News on Sep 25th, 2007
CINCINNATI- “This is a great alternative to end a dispute without having to divorce.†Paul Keyes, a marriage counselor, said.†To all the struggling marriages in the United States that are thinking about divorce, SAWING LLC has announced a new alternative- dividing the house in half. Not by traditional means, instead they will offer to [...]
Posted in US News on Sep 24th, 2007
NEW YORK- After decades of declining value, the American Dollar has become almost worthless. A paper bill with George Washington is now only worth a fraction of a Canadian Dollar. What sparked this dramatic decline? A combination of Bush’s economic policies, the filthy rich buying European merchandise, and the stock market crashing caused the American [...]