An orbiting spacecraft directed by NASA has found life on Mars. However, the Martians aren’t more advanced than us like many TV show depictions, instead they come in the form of cavemen. The cavemen were found living in a cave apparently still without fire. NASA tried to make contact with them, but it seemed that they haven’t learned how to speak yet.

“So much for intelligent life out there,” Janes Barnes said. “It seems as though the cavemen in Mars are still in the Stone Age.”

The NASA commissioners are still trying to study the species to find out how they communicate. Finding out how to communicate to them will be a giant leap to help the cavemen develop their technology faster. Helping the Martians develop can be beneficial for both races.

“This event is comical to me,” James Raval, a leading scientist in NASA, said. “For years we’ve been trying to find intelligent life out there, turns out we’re the intelligent life.”

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“Each type of TV show stimulates a different part of the brain,” Researcher, Alan Greene, founder of this program spoke out. “Using the right combination of TV shows, one can stimulate the brain enough to fight off the disease.”

The treatment has been named TFT or TV for treatment and is rewriting medical books as we speak. Even though the idea may sound outrageous at first, 90% of patients have reported getting better since using the treatment. The company that launched the program called Greene Medical Co announced that they have released treatments for colds and fevers thus far.

“We hope that the success of the program right now will spread to more severe diseases such as Alzheimer’s or even cancer.” Tom Greene, CEO of the company, announced.

Disclaimer:This is just a twisted story based on the news story. Why have Twisted News? Twisted News makes the boring news more fun! This twisted news was just made from an idea I had.

“This worm is going to cost huge money on major companies such as Microsoft and Apple,” Scott Francis, a victim, spoke out. “If the worm can delete everything on my small laptop in a few seconds, it can erase whole databases in a matter of minutes.”

The total amount of damage the worm has done is still unclear, but already billions of dollars and irreplaceable information have reported missing. How the worm got into the Internet still remains a mystery. Many computer geeks hypothesize that the worm crossed from the real world to the Internet world via Paypal which is commonly known as the bridge between the real World to the Internet.

“I think that when someone was sending money from the real world to their account in Paypal, the worm attached and got a free ride into the Internet.” Scott Richardson, TechGears writer, said.

While many criticize this theory, what matters most is not how it got in but what to do now. The top computer geeks in the world, including Bill Gates, have gathered together to form the Fellowship of the Worm. Together, they will embark on a perilous journey into the Internet where they must lead the worm into the MyDoom virus where the worm will be destroyed once and for all.

Disclaimer:This is just a twisted story based on the news story. Why have Twisted News? Twisted News makes the boring news more fun!To see the real story click here Please share your opinions and criticisms by commenting.

“I love this idea,” Peter McCarthy, a third grader, announced. “I’m so sick of eating P&B’s every single day of my life. Finally I can trade my P&B’s for gummy worms or even fruit roll ups.”

Swap ‘N Eat was just launched yesterday and have been getting millions of pageviews already. Their slogan is ‘Another man’s junk is another man’s treasure.’ The founder Ricky Patrickson explains their program.

“We believe in the fundamental value of a good lunch. Without a good hearty lunch, who has the stomach to do well on tests? We may think our lunch is gross and nasty, but there’s always people out there just craving for what you have.”

Even though the success of Swap ‘N Eat has been great, they have been bombarded with criticisms on health.

“What if the food contains e.coli or poison? There’s just too much risk involved in this program to be worth it. If you hate your lunch then just deal with it. There are millions of people starving out there, and you’re complaining about your food?” Bob Miller, a pediatrician, weighed in.

Disclaimer:This is just a twisted story based on the news story. Why have Twisted News? Twisted News makes the boring news more fun! This is a story inspired by a TV show I watched awhile ago.

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“I had just voted for Bill Clinton,” Rudy Anderson, an avid voter, said. “I was just about to leave when the words ‘What? Has he been cheating with you too?’ appeared on the screen.”

Other testimonials also report that the phrases were targeted towards the voters making it seem as if though the hacker could see the voters. Police have searched the place and have not found any cameras of any sort. While many voters are left shocked and scarred for life, some are actually happy.

“After I placed my vote in, a man’s hairy butt came onto my screen. I’ve been trying to tell my parents that I was gay, but I never gathered up the courage to do so. Suddenly, I felt pressure from inside my pants. There was no way I could stop it. It just so happened that my parents were behind me. When I turned around, I didn’t have to say a single word. They finally understood.” Roy Lee said smiling.

Authorized are puzzled at how the hacker even got in to the highly secured network. It would require years to crack all the passwords to get in. This leads some to believe that is was done by a group of hackers.

“Whoever did it will be punished soon. So, if the hacker or hackers are watching this turn yourself in! Even though we don’t have a shred of evidence, we’ll get you.” Tom Sanders, sheriff of the Florida’s state troopers, said.

For now, the hacker has caused chaos and emotional suffering. Florida state police need your help. If you know anything about these incidents please call 1-800-DOUGH-NUTS.

Disclaimer:This is just a twisted story based on the news story. Why have Twisted News? To make news more interesting and to get people to read the boring news.To see the real story click here.

One minute left before we open doors!” The manager said to the awaiting crowd. The time had finally come. Over twenty four hours of waiting, sleeping on a chair, and going to the bathroom on a plant, Phil was finally about to get his iPhone. Ever since he tried it out a month ago, he fell in love with it. It was like a computer in the palm of his hands, and the iphone gave him permission to burn his obsolete ipods.

“We are about to open doors!”
The whole crowd screamed in joy. Every single news TV station you could think of was there recording the action.
“Phil, Jack, Alex, Usman, Francis, Michael, and John may come in first.”
His whole body shook in excitement. Phil could barely pick up the iPhone to the cash register. He almost was in tears as the employee handed him the package.
“I GOT THE iPHONE!” Phil screamed in joy as he left the store.
Phil did a Tiger Woods’ fist pump as he went to the car. The next few days, Phil was totally absorbed into the iPhone. Forget the computer; he did everything on the iPhone from surfing the internet to watching cool videos. It wasn’t just being absorbed though, he was addicted. Doctors all over the world are trying to make video game addiction a psychological disease, but now they also have to do it for the iPhone.

Disclaimer This story is not the real news story. This is just a twisted story based on the news story. Why have Twisted News? To make news more interesting and to get people to read the boring news. Enjoy!

To see the real story click here.